I started out my Wednesday night drinking a couple of beers with my girlfriend at the Oakmont Pub in Havertown to celebrate the Phillies first playoff win since 1993. This is the time of year that we can kick back and watch America’s pastime and feel proud to be an American.
No, I’m not a “God Bless America” man, and I do not vote Republican. In fact, I’ve only voted for one Republican my whole life and that was because the Democratic candidate cut in line while waiting to get on a bus to the Kennett Square Mushroom Festival.
I guess you can say I’m liberal. I am a vegetarian and I drive a hybrid. I have been in verbal arguments with Chester County Republicans and I oppose the Iraq war.
Earlier in the day, the staff at The Communitarian was looking over the upcoming issue. Glaring at me on the front page was an article about fair trade.
I looked over at my professor Bonnie McMeans and said “Have you ever noticed how expensive fair trade products are compared to regular products?”
I was pretty sure I had seen fair trade tea that was over $10 last week. But then again I could have been full of crap.
I had to find out even though the last thing I wanted to do was give myself work on a night that I’d been drinking, but I agreed to it because I live conveniently across the street from a 24-hour Wegmans that I know sells fair trade products.
If you ever want to look creepy, then walk into a grocery store at midnight with a pen and notebook and jot notes to yourself while looking at tea. I knew this would draw attention to me because the store was empty.
Within a minute, a security guard pulled up with a shopping cart in the tea aisle next to me. He looked at me as if to say, “What the hell are you doing?”
At least I wasn’t the only one that looked out of place. Two men shopping for tea at midnight: priceless.
The fair trade tea on average was $6 more than the standard teas of Bigelow or Lipton.
The most shocking price of a fair trade tea was Snow Sprout organic green tea by Rishi Tea. This tea cost $14.99 and weighed 1.4 ounces. That equated to $171.31 per pound.
Am I buying gold here? For that kind of money I could purchase Wachovia Bank.
But this tea was cultivated from ancient trees that are 1,300 years old.
Big deal. If it doesn’t give me the ability to fly or stay aroused for more than three hours, then I really don’t care.
Rishi also makes a tea called Jade Cloud. This tea was a little cheaper at $7.99. According to the package, the tea is “nurtured by the clouds and cool mist of early spring.”
Did it ever occur to the Chinese that the clouds are actually smog?
I decided to compare these teas to my old staple, Bigelow’s Lemon Lift. A good old American tea made in Fairfield, Conn. The price was only $2.59 and that equated to $12.95 per pound.
With the economy slumping, I don’t know how the average person can even afford fair trade products. We should be buying American at this point to help our economy rebound.
It seems like the fair traders are taking advantage of American sympathy toward the plight of workers and cashing in on American stupidity.
At first, I thought well, maybe just the teas are expensive.
Everything from chocolate to sugar to coffee is more expensive when buying fair trade products.
For example, Ghiradelli from San Francisco, Calif. makes some of the most amazing chocolate in the world. One of their candy bars cost $1.99.
A candy bar from the fair trade company, the El Ceibo Cooperative from Bolivia, cost $3.99.
I must have started to look suspicious again because I realized the security guard with the cart was following me around the store. So I decided I needed to buy something that made me feel good about buying it.
I had just gotten off the phone with my mom before entering the store and she was talking about Paul Newman’s death. She was saying what a great guy he was and how he always gave back to the community. I knew all this, but he also made badass lemonade, salad dressings, and pasta sauces.
This led me straight to the lemonade section to pick up Newman’s Own Virgin Lemonade. I looked at the label and it read, “Paul Newman and the Newman’s Own Foundation donate all profits and royalties after taxes to educational and charitable purposes.”
This is what it really means to be “fair.”
I bought the lemonade and left the store thinking maybe more people should follow Newman’s fair policies.
Rest in peace, Paul Newman.
