Eagles flying high ... fans still hate them
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In a dramatic turn of events, quarterback Donovan McNabb finally won the big one by leading the (11-5) Philadelphia Eagles down field in the final minutes to win Super Bowl XLIV at Dolphin Stadium in South Florida, 24-21, Feb.7, 2010 over Peyton Manning and the (13-3) Indianapolis Colts.
This blonde Dallas Cowboys fan reinforces the stereotype that cute blondes can’t spill. (Photo courtesy of blog.sportscolumn.com)
The Eagles, who were 10-point underdogs, closed their regular season with four straight victories and plowed their way through the NFC playoffs, their momentum carrying over just long enough to defeat Jim Caldwell and the Colts in the 44th annual crown of the NFL champion.
With just over three minutes to go, McNabb and the Philadelphia offense got the ball trailing 21-17, following an Indianapolis fourth quarter touchdown. McNabb capped off their game winning drive with a 24-yard touchdown pass to surprise mid-season acquisition Terrell Owens, with only three seconds remaining on the clock.
After three quarters of an epic battle between McNabb and Manning’s AFC champion Colts, Manning finally looked like he had been to the big game before. Manning drove the ball down the throat of the Philly defense, ending the
Colts second half scoring drought with a 19-yard touchdown pass to Reggie Wayne, the team’s number one wide receiver, to put Indianapolis up 21-17.
Coming out of the gates uncharacteristically slow, Indianapolis found itself trailing 10-0 after a 38-yard field goal on the opening drive by David Akers and a 31-yard screen pass to Brian Westbrook’s replacement, rookie LeSean McCoy, following an Asante Samuel interception of Manning on Indy’s first drive of the game.
“I knew I had to step up and make a play because Peyton is one of the league’s best,” Samuel said. “The defense just tried to make the late coach Johnson proud and I think we did that tonight.”
After rallying the troops, Manning was able to relax and slow down the tempo of the game. The former University of Tennessee star led back-to-back touchdown drives ending with a Dallas Clark nine-yard touchdown reception to make it 14-10 Indianapolis. The Manning to Clark connection wasn’t to be outdone, the previous drive ended with a 4-yard Joseph Addai touchdown plunge into the end zone.
“The Philadelphia defense was suffocating,” Manning said. “I knew I had to calm myself down and find a way to beat their aggressive approach.”
Indianapolis took their first lead of the game with only 1:23 left in the first half.
Prior to kickoff, McNabb and injury ridden Westbrook discussed the game plan with a pair of smiles, yet seemingly focused. This was a much different story in Super Bowl XXXIX when the Eagles lost to the New England Patriots, when McNabb seemed nervous.
This time the Eagles looked completely in control as they drove the ball down the field with little trouble, until the drive stalled short of the end zone and Philadelphia had to settle for a David Akers field goal.
Manning never really found a rhythm or seemed comfortable after his first quarter interception he threw to cornerback Samuel on his fourth passing attempt of the day.
It was much of a defensive battle throughout the game until the second half when Philly finally broke through.
Midway through the third quarter, Indianapolis led 14-10, until McNabb took the field with a sense of determination. Indianapolis took the lead late in the first half and the defense seemed to be frustrating McNabb snap after snap. With only 5:32 left in the third quarter, the Eagles began to drive on the Indy defense and the Syracuse alum, McNabb, looked confident.
Trailing 14-10, the Eagles drive started at the 32-yard line and would eventually end with a 13 play, 68-yard drive. McNabb drove the team down field, scrambling like the Donovan of old, and he was having fun. The drive was capped off by a Michael Vick touchdown pass to seldom-used running back out of Tennessee-Chattanooga, Eldra Buckley. This touchdown drive put the Eagles up 17-14.
Immediately following the Philadelphia score, Manning made a statement. He traveled the length of the field, passing for 48 yards and ended the drive with a 19-yard pass to Wayne with 10:12 remaining in the fourth and final quarter. This put Indy up 21-17.
After both teams’ offenses couldn’t get it going long enough to sustain a drive in the fourth quarter, both teams were forced to punt on successive drives.
Indianapolis punted to second-year receiver DeSean Jackson with only 3:03 remaining in regulation. The Philadelphia youngster was forced to call for a fair catch at the Philadelphia 21-yard line and this is where McNabb took over.
University of Georgia’s Reggie Brown made back-to-back receptions totaling 24 yards to put Philadelphia up at its own 45-yard line.
After two rushes by Vick, the birds gained only five yards to make it third down, and they needed to get five more yards. McNabb was heavily rushed and seemed to have been destined for a sack, but miraculously escaped and ran down the sidelines all the way down to the Indianapolis 36-yard line where he was pushed out of play.
It was first and 10 on the 36-yard line with 1:09 remaining and it looked like Philly was in position to take the lead. McNabb took the ball from under center and handed it off to third string running back, Buckley and he rumbled for 12 yards, down to the 24.
The clock was ticking :55, :54, :53. The ball was snapped and McNabb dropped back looking to pass. With defenders in his face, he avoided the rush and heaved the ball into the end zone. The stadium was quiet and the fans held their breath only to watch the ball hit the ground.
Now it was second down with 43 seconds left to play. The Eagles handed the ball off to fullback Jeremy Weaver, but he is stopped for no gain. The clock continues to tick, only 20 seconds to go.
Third and 10 and Philadelphia elected not to call their final timeout and they went no huddle. This caught the defense and first year coach, Caldwell off guard. McNabb received the snap with 12 seconds left. He faked the quick screen to rookie Jeremy Maclin and threw a strike to Owens, standing almost all alone for the go ahead touchdown.
With only three seconds left, Akers added the extra point to make it 24-17 Philadelphia and the stadium was shell-shocked.
Akers kicked off on the ensuing drive and booted it two yards deep into the end zone. It was caught by Manning and he ran it out. He hustled to the sideline and sent a bullet to the left hash, but Wayne was brought down as soon as he made the catch, and the clock read triple zeroes.
Philadelphia finally broke the drought and won the Super Bowl.
“I’m really proud of these guys, especially Donovan,” said head coach Andy Reid. “He’s taken so much criticism ever since we drafted him before the 1999 season and throughout his 11-year career. And mark my words, this is a start of a dynasty here in Philly!”
Contact Joe Giotti
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communitarian@mail.dccc.edu
These days, recently hired DCCC humanities professor Biff Mutombo says he is so excited, he feels like screaming at the top of his lungs!
For the average person, this might be acceptable behavior.The problem is, Mutombo is not an average person. Technically, he’s not even a person at all.
Professor Biff Mutombo grunting through the woods on his day off. (Photo courtesy of warisboring.com) Mutombo is a sasquatch.
In fact, he says that he is THE sasquatch, known across the world by a one-word moniker, like Cher or Bono. Yes, Mutombo is the one-and-only Bigfoot, or Biff for short. He says he took the last name as a tribute to NBA all-star giant Dikembe Mutombo.
Mutombo will begin teaching a course titled “North American Myths and Urban Legends” at DCCC during the spring 2010 semester. The course will feature creatures such as the Wendigo, the Chupacabra and, of course, Bigfoot.
Mutombo says years of being stalked and persecuted by “drunk, redneck hunters and nosy, student photographers” have instilled in him a “burning passion to disclose the truth that will help those understand the misunderstood.”
“I hate the fact that people think I’m a ferocious beast and I’m going to eat them or rip their heads off or something crazy like that,” Mutombo said. “I am not a monster. I’m a person just like you, only taller and hairier.”
Mutombo said he was born “a very long time ago” in the vast forests of Northern California and up until two years ago, roamed these woods, desperately ducking photographers and curious tabloid journalists until “fate intervened.”
”It was just like any other night,” Mutombo said. “I was just walking through the woods after a big meal, trying to keep the pounds off, when I stumbled upon a campsite of college students. Of course, like always, they ran off in terror before I could get a word in edgewise.”
Mutombo said the students forgot to grab their belongings before running off. These belongings included a laptop computer which one of the students was using to take online classes. Also among the possessions were several wallets containing several active credit cards.
“I didn’t do anything illegal,” Mutombo said. ”But, computer plus credit card plus online classes equals me, two years later, with a degree… well… you do the math.”
Mutombo recalled the campsite incident as a life-changing experience and referred to it as his “new beginning.”
“I knew, at that moment, I was done being Bigfoot: The Monster,” Mutombo said. “I wanted to be Bigfoot: The Man.”
After obtaining an online degree in sociology from Jen Erick University, Mutombo posted his resume on Craig’s List, which happened to catch the eye of Charles Ascot, a history professor at DCCC.
“It wasn’t his academic qualifications that got me excited,” Ascot said. “But this is Bigfoot we’re talking about, the actual Bigfoot.”
Ascot admitted he was somewhat skeptical about the fact that Mutombo was actually a sasquatch, but said that one dinner meeting in California changed his mind.
“All it took was one meeting and I knew this guy and the legend were for real. I couldn’t believe it. I was having wings at Hooters with Bigfoot.”
In the next few months, Mutombo says Ascot “took him under his wing” and helped transform him from hairy creature to caring teacher. He helped him with everything from obtaining the necessary legal documents to become a working citizen, to setting him up with proper housing and a new wardrobe.
According to Mutombo, the most traumatic experience for him was the haircut.
“They cut years and years of hair off me,” Mutombo said. “By the time they were done, the hardwood floors were carpeted.”
Ascot said the next step was convincing DCCC president Bill L. Heffay to let an inexperienced, supposedly mythical creature teach a course that had yet to exist.
A meeting was set up between Heffay, Ascot and Mutombo and by the end of the meeting, the course was created and Mutombo was teaching it.
“It was a dream come true,” Mutombo recalled. “If I can do it, anyone can do it.”
Mutombo said it’s tough getting acclimated to the world outside the forest of Northern California, but he’s getting used to it.
“Since I got the haircut, I don’t get as many looks as before,” Mutombo said. “I just tell them I play for the Sixers.”
Mutombo said he’s fitting in with his fellow professors at DCCC, but is not sure how his students will react to their eight- foot tall professor in January.
“I’m sure I’ll be okay,” Mutombo said. “I just hope the ceilings are high enough, or my chiropractor is going to be busy all semester.”
Contact Shawn Kotzen
at
communitarian@mail.dccc.edu
DCCC liberal arts major Laura Alcawitz shocked fellow classmates and faculty this week by utilizing an on-campus computer for something productive: homework. While most students use the school computers for social networking or playing games, Alcawitz is ushering in a new era of productivity, using technology.
Laura Alcawitz sparks an academic revolution by using a school computer for homework. (Photo courtesy of britishcouncil.org)
A freshman at DCCC, 18-year-old Alcawitz said she was eager and determined to change the status quo. “It was really, pretty simple,” Alcawitz said. “I mean, I had to take an online quiz for a Western Civ. I class, so I figured, hey, why not use one of the school’s computers.”
Alcawitz’s proactive actions and responsible time management skills are causing quite a bit of controversy on campus. Many students who have grown accustomed to the established norm of using the Internet to procrastinate and waste time are a little uneasy at the thought of actually using a computer for its intended academic purpose.
“Who does she think she is?” said Donald Mendenzahl, 23, a business major. “She can’t just come in here and expect to change our ways. This isn’t some kind of learnatorium or something. It’s a college campus for crying out loud.”
technology-based, academic escapades, however. Her decision to utilize a school computer for schoolwork is a step in the right direction, said Anna Vladinov, 19, a nursing major.
“I may even go so far as to try it myself,” she added. “I have a research project due for a biology class, so I might as well saddle up and explore the wild, wild web.”
The issue of students following proper computer etiquette has been vexing DCCC staff for years. Hugo Glockenspiel, DCCC director of computers and stuff, and chair of the recently formed Computer Appreciation Force Control Academia, or CAFCA, has been spearheading “Operation Livewire” to promote acceptable use of technology for academic purposes.
CAFCA plans to settle this dispute once and for all and finally find answers to the age-old questions: How do you determine what’s acceptable on campus and what’s not? Where do you draw the line between academic and personal? Why can’t students just ignore the professor and go on Facebook?
“We could put Internet blocks and filters on the computers, but at what cost?” said Mark Norton, a DCCC information technology specialist and first class CAFCA ranger. “It might impose upon the students’ right to freedom of speech.”
plete Internet access and freedom to use computers or other communication devices, such as cell phones, whenever they wish, even during class time.
“We’re paying tuition so we can take classes here, and we’re the ones who make the effort to show up and pay professors’ salaries,” said David Powers, 21, a humanities major. “We should be able to do whatever the [expletive] we want!”
It seems that the DCCC staff is just as divided on this issue as the students.
“It’s about time students started using these blasted computers the right way,” said John Finkerton, a psychology professor whose specialties are hypnosis and pyrokinesis. “The school spends all this money on ‘em and all the students do is screw around. It’s ridiculous.”
But some professors still refuse to even require the use of technology in their classrooms.
“Back in my day, no one ever heard of these confounded contraptions,” said Benjamin Bartleby Prescott, who holds a doctorate in ancient wombat civilization. “I don’t see why we can’t simply use a good ol’ pen and pad. These darn calculatin’ machines are corruptin’ our youth and underminin’ the foundation of education.”
According to an anonymous tip, the DCCC board of directors will soon vote on a new regulation to completely ban personal computer use.
“This is absolutely ludicrous,” said Sebastian Macdonald, 25, a computer science major. “How can they even think about restricting our Internet access? If I can’t log in to Facebook, I won’t be able to harvest my crops on Farmville; they’ll wither and die without me!”
Despite all the controversy, Cornelius Goodwell, a custodial arts guru at DCCC, seemed unfazed, claiming he’s seen it all before.
“This sort of thing happens all the time,” he said. “I mean, now it’s computers; before that it was cellaphones and fancy portable videogame machines. I remember back in ‘83 when students were using calculators to spell out dirty words like ‘BOOBS’ and ‘HELL.’ All in all, these things seem to have a way of settling themselves out, and no one will even remember this problem a week from now.”
Contact Lucas Rodgers
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communitarian@mail.dccc.edu